When Parents do Too Much

As college application season approaches, a familiar pattern often emerges: parents want to help their teenagers succeed, so they begin stepping in to manage parts of the process. The motivation is understandable. Applying to college can feel overwhelming, and parents naturally want to reduce stress for their child.

      But there is an important difference between supporting a teenager and taking over the process.

     Researchers have begun studying what is often called “overparenting.” In one large analysis of more than 21,000 participants, researchers found a clear pattern: the more parents overhelp, the worse children’s mental health tends to be. Higher levels of overparenting were associated with increased anxiety, higher rates of depression, and lower resilience. The effects were even stronger as children got older.

     Researchers describe overparenting as developmentally inappropriate control. In other words, it happens when adults step in to manage tasks that a child or teenager is capable of learning to do themselves.

     The intention usually comes from love. Parents want to smooth the path and prevent mistakes. But when young people are constantly protected from small challenges, they miss opportunities to build independence and problem-solving skills. Too much help now can unintentionally create helplessness later. The college application process is actually an ideal opportunity for students to begin developing these skills. 

     When parents take over tasks such as emailing admissions offices, resolving scheduling questions, or communicating with counselors, it can send an unintended message: I don’t think you can handle this yourself. Even when that is not the intention, teenagers often internalize that message. Over time, it can weaken their confidence in their ability to manage important responsibilities.

     Students are about to enter a stage of life where they will be expected to advocate for themselves. In college, professors expect students, not parents, to ask questions about assignments or grades. If a roommate conflict arises, students must work through it themselves. If they need help with financial aid, registration, or academic advising, they will be the ones expected to contact the appropriate office.

     Guidance and coaching can be incredibly helpful.  Learning how to do these things while still living at home provides an important safety net. For example, if a student needs to call an admissions office, a parent can help them think through what they want to ask or review an email before it is sent. Parents can help students organize deadlines, talk through decisions, and offer perspective when emotions run high.

     When students write the email, make the phone call, or solve the problem themselves, they gain something far more valuable than a completed task: confidence. They learn that they are capable of navigating the adult world. The college application process is actually an ideal opportunity for students to begin developing these skills.

     The goal is not to solve every problem for teenagers. The goal is to prepare them to solve problems on their own.

Focus on Majors: Applied Mathematics

Applied mathematics is the study of mathematical methods and how they're used to address problems in science, engineering, business, and other fields. It sits between pure mathematics and the applied disciplines that use math as a tool. Students build skills in calculus, linear algebra, differential equations, probability, and computational methods, then learn to apply those to real-world problems.

     Most programs encourage students to develop depth in a second subject. This gives the degree a lot of range, which is one reason it can appeal to students with strong quantitative skills who haven't yet settled on a specific direction.

     Students who do well in applied mathematics tend to arrive with a solid math foundation. The most useful courses are calculus and statistics. Physics is worth prioritizing, since it's often used to describe real systems. A computer science class or programming skills can also prepare a student for the major.

     In terms of mindset, students who tend to do well in applied mathematics are comfortable sitting with a problem that doesn't have an obvious answer. They're generally more interested in understanding WHY a method works than in simply getting the right answer. A natural curiosity about how things are measured, predicted, or modeled is an initial indicator of a possible good fit. 

For applied math specifically, a flexible curriculum may matter more than it might for other majors because the degree's real value comes from pairing math with another field. Schools that don't require a specific list of general education (GE) courses or narrow GE categories give students more room to explore “applying” mathematics.

Brown's Open Curriculum allows applied mathematics majors at Brown to spend elective credits learning a second field. Their applied mathematics concentration offers tracks in biology, computer science, economics, and physics, and students can pursue independent research through the Division of Applied Mathematics, which spans fluid dynamics, mathematical biology, and machine learning theory.

With the "Rochester Curriculum," at the University of Rochester, instead of fixed core requirements, students choose three clusters of study: one in their major and two others built around their own interests. It's a similar philosophy to Brown's but at a more accessible admissions level. Applied math majors here can double major in economics, computer science, or other fields without the friction of narrow GE requirements.

USC offers a five-year combined Bachelor's and Master's in Applied Mathematics. Students apply during their sophomore or junior year and take graduate-level courses that count toward both degrees simultaneously. The 4+1 structure is worth considering for students who know they want to go further in the field. The minor a student chooses often clarifies where their skills will be applied. 

Common pairings:

• Computer Science - Moves students toward software, machine learning, or AI roles

• Economics - Useful for quantitative finance, policy analysis, or consulting

• Biology or Neuroscience - Connects to computational biology, bioinformatics, or research

• Statistics - Deepens the credentials for data science or research tracks

• Public Health - Relevant for health policy and global health organizations

• Psychology / Cognitive Science - A path into User Experience (UX) research, behavioral economics, and human-computer interaction

     For students interested in building AI systems, machine learning runs on linear algebra, calculus, and probability. As AI tools become more common across industries, knowing what a model's output actually means and when to question it requires the same analytical thinking learned in applied mathematics curricula. The ability to interpret a result is increasingly useful.

Career Paths for Applied Mathematics Majors

• Actuary

• Biostatistician

• Climate/Environmental Modeler

• Computational Biologist

• Cryptographer/Cybersecurity Analyst

• Data Scientist

• Econometrician

• Epidemiologist

• Financial/Quantitative Analyst

• Machine Learning Engineer

• Operations Research Analyst

• Quantitative Risk Manager

• Research Scientist

• Signal Processing Engineer

• Software Engineer

• Supply Chain Analyst

• University Researcher/Professor

• UX Researcher (Quantitative)

Choosing a Gap Year

After years of structured schedules, deadlines, and pressure, it's not surprising that many students arrive at the end of high school feeling burnt out. A gap year gives students the chance to reset, gain real-world experience, and build the independence they'll need to succeed in college.

That can look very different depending on the student. Some stay close to home and work, save money, or take a class, while others pursue internships, volunteer, or explore interests that weren't possible during the school year. Not every student is ready for the demands of college life immediately after high school, and that's okay. A well-structured gap year can help build confidence, resilience, and self-awareness before stepping onto campus.

Students who take a gap year are more likely to graduate on time and have higher GPAs than those who do not, and report feeling more confident and better prepared for college and their future careers. Research also shows that gap year students are perceived as more mature, more self-reliant, and more independent, and that the positive effect on GPA tends to last across all four years of college. Students who returned to higher education after a gap year were found to be more motivated and to outperform peers who did not take one. 

The key is to have a plan in place. A gap year is not about taking a year off; it's about taking a year with purpose. Without clear goals and structure, the year can slip by without much to show for it. Students should think intentionally about what they hope to gain, whether that's an internship, community service, language immersion, travel, or work experience. The Gap Year Association is an excellent starting point for exploring options. A gap year doesn't have to mean going overseas. Programs like  City Year place young adults in schools across the U.S., providing academic support while building leadership and professional skills. For students navigating anxiety, burnout, or other challenges, therapeutic gap year programs offer structured support for mental health and personal growth as a meaningful bridge to college readiness.

How do colleges view all of this? Generally, quite favorably. Students should not include gap year plans in their applications, as it can complicate the process. A stronger strategy is to apply to college during senior year as usual, secure admission, and then request a deferral from the school you plan to attend. Deadlines for deferral requests are typically in the summer after graduation. Colleges tend to look favorably on students who use their gap year for meaningful, intentional activities. One important limitation: students usually cannot take college-level coursework during a gap year without affecting their freshman status. Always confirm each college’s deferral policy, as it can vary. For the right student with the right plan, a gap year isn't a detour. It's a head start.

Note that University of California colleges seldom allow students to defer their admission for any purpose, including a gap year.

The Value of Community Service

In a time when college admissions can feel like a competition, it’s easy to think every activity needs to “look good” on your applications. Community service often falls into that trap, reduced to logging hours or checking a requirement. The truth is, most colleges don’t require community service. The true value of service is its impact on your community and on yourself.

     During adolescence, your ability to understand other people’s perspectives is growing, along with your desire to find a place where you feel valued and connected. It’s one of the most vital times to begin looking outside of yourself and contributing to others. As you move from childhood into adulthood, you’re not just building a résumé; you’re figuring out who you are and how you want to show up in the world. Research shows that helping others plays a direct role in your development. The parts of your brain involved in social connection are maturing, and you’re more sensitive to the positive feelings that come from doing something meaningful. The psychology-based research on this is often connected to the concept of "mattering": the feeling of being valued and having value to add, which is a fundamental human need, essential for well-being.

     The most meaningful service starts with genuine interest. A student who loves art might bring creativity into a children’s hospital. Someone involved in a youth group might organize a project like mentoring younger students. One student refurbished donated computers for foster youth. Another created a reading program at a shelter. Try out community service not because it looks impressive, but because it matters to you.

     If you’re not sure where to start, think about your involvement through three simple lenses: initiative, impact, and insight. Initiative means you took action, whether starting something new or stepping into a larger role. Impact is whether your efforts helped others in a meaningful way. Insight is what you gained and how the experience shaped your perspective and confidence.

     Real service begins with awareness. What brings you joy? What genuinely interests you? Once you identify that, use what you’re good at to help meet that need. A strong writer might help someone tell their story. A student who loves animals, sports, or music can find ways to give back through those interests.

     There is no “best” type of community service. What matters is that it feels important to you. When you’re connected to what you’re doing, you’re more likely to stay involved, take initiative, and grow from the experience.
   A consistent contribution to a meaningful service activity will help admissions officers better understand how you show up in the world and what you value. But more importantly, it helps you develop initiative, create impact, and gain insight. It builds a sense of purpose and direction, something that will carry you far beyond the college process and into whatever comes next.

AP Exams

During early May, high school students across the country sit for Advanced Placement (AP) exams. For students carrying a heavy AP load, that can mean four or five exams in two weeks, an intense stretch at the end of an already demanding year.

The AP program, run by the College Board, provides curriculum frameworks so teachers can align their courses with exam expectations. At some schools, students in AP classes are required to take the exam. Even when it’s optional, it usually makes sense to sit for it. After a year of rigorous work, the exam is an opportunity to potentially earn college credit, and many students perform better than they expect.

Most AP exams include both multiple-choice questions and a free-response section, which may involve essays or problem-solving. Studio Art is the exception; it is assessed through a portfolio review.

Exams are scored on a scale of 1 to 5. Colleges set their own policies for awarding credit. Many grant credit for scores of 4 or 5, and some award credit for a 3. Some colleges use the scores as a method to place students in appropriate-level classes. Policies vary not only by college but also by subject, and more selective institutions often have stricter guidelines. Students can review each college’s AP credit policy on its website or through the College Board’s AP Credit Policy Search.

Some applications, including the Common Application, allow students to self-report AP scores. Official score reports should be sent once a student has chosen where to enroll, so that the college can determine credit and placement.

Students who earn AP Scholar distinctions can include the award in their applications. The basic AP Scholar award is granted to students who score 3 or higher on at least three exams. Higher distinctions require stronger performance across more exams, with the most competitive level reflecting consistent scores of 4 or 5 on numerous tests.

AP exams cost $99 each, though fee reductions are available for students with financial need, and some high schools subsidize the cost. While the fee may feel significant, it is modest compared to the cost of a college course.

Students who take multiple AP exams and earn qualifying scores may enter college with a semester or more of credit. Some graduate early, reducing tuition costs. Others use the flexibility to pursue a double major, study abroad, or take on internships while maintaining a manageable course load.

Financial Matters: The Reality Behind the College Dream

If you're the parent of a high school senior navigating college costs, welcome to an expensive reality. Today's world of college financing breaks down into two categories: "Great money" and "Not-so-Great money."

Free Money - Free money includes grants and scholarships that never need repayment. Two types exist: need-based aid and merit-based aid. Need-based aid amounts are determined by the FAFSA and, in some cases, the CSS Profile.

Merit-aid tuition reductions, grants, and scholarships remain a recruitment tool for many private colleges and many public universities seeking top students. Students can earn scholarships for athletic, artistic, or debate talents, as well as academic achievement through strong grades and test scores. 

Many public universities offer prestigious Honors Colleges with perks including early class registration, smaller classes, honors housing, and substantial scholarships.

Most highly selective institutions like Stanford, MIT, and Georgetown don't offer merit aid but typically provide generous need-based assistance, many meeting 100% demonstrated financial need. If your student gains acceptance and the financial aid office determines that your family cannot afford the full cost, which can often be $80,000 to $90,000+ annually, they will cover the determined need-based aid using their own institutional methodology, sometimes with a combination of grant money, loans, and Federal Work Study. 

The challenge hits families in the "gray zone," earning too much for need-based aid but insufficient to cover sticker prices.

Loans - Many parents, desperate not to disappoint their children, pledge to "do whatever we need to make it happen." This often means taking loans in both student and parent names, cashing life insurance policies early, or paying penalties for early withdrawals on retirement accounts. Attending a high-priced institution while borrowing substantially is financially unwise. A college education should not disrupt normal family spending patterns or force parents to abandon their financial security.

Smart Strategies for 2026 - Consider the following approaches:

• Start early with the FAFSA, now available October 1st of senior year. Be aware of deadlines for aid applications to file on time. 

• Explore test-optional policies. Many schools now admit students without SAT/ACT scores, though submitting strong scores can still unlock merit aid.

• Consider community college pathways. Starting at a community college and transferring saves substantially while achieving the same degree.

• Research employer tuition benefits. Many companies now offer education assistance as employee benefits.

• Remember: no single "perfect" college exists. Most students can thrive at various institutions. Parents must be responsible decision-makers, protecting against significant debt burdens. A child's education matters, but not at the expense of current or future financial stability for parents or students.

The Importance of "Likely" Admit Colleges

Most students add a few likely colleges to their list almost as an afterthought. They focus their energy on reach and possible schools and assume the likelies will simply be there if needed. But that mindset misses the point.

     A well-chosen likely school should never feel like a backup plan. It should feel like a place you would be genuinely excited to attend.

     Start by identifying the characteristics you are seeking in your college experience. Are you looking for strong academics in a particular major? A collaborative environment rather than a competitive one? School spirit? Research access? Internship pipelines? An urban setting? A close-knit campus? You can find all of these qualities at colleges that admit more than half of their applicants — and at institutions where your academic profile makes you a strong candidate.

     In admissions language, a likely school generally means two things: the institution often admits 50-75% or more, and your academic credentials fall comfortably within or above the middle 50% of admitted students’ test score ranges. While colleges evaluate applications holistically, academic performance remains the foundation of an admission decision.

     It’s also important to understand that colleges, even those that admit a majority of students, do not want to feel like a safety school. If a college believes you are unlikely to enroll, it may defer, waitlist, or even deny you to manage its yield and protect its admission statistics. Demonstrated interest, thoughtful supplemental essays, and campus engagement matter everywhere.

Now, here is the strategic piece families sometimes overlook: what will your experience look like once you arrive?

Recently, a strong student was admitted to a highly selective university and to one of her likely schools, where she was offered a generous merit scholarship. After visiting both campuses, she realized something important. At the more selective school, large introductory STEM courses were graded on a strict curve. At her likely school, she was invited into the honors program and offered early research opportunities, where she could quickly connect with professors. She chose the likely school. By sophomore year, she was conducting research, holding a leadership role in a pre-med organization, and maintaining a GPA that positioned her well for medical school applications, all while graduating with significantly less debt.

From an ROI perspective, that decision mattered. Lower undergraduate debt meant greater flexibility when applying to medical school. Strong grades and faculty relationships translated into competitive recommendations. Confidence can lead to leadership and initiative. The return on investment was not just financial; it was academic and emotional. This is especially important for students thinking about graduate school in fields such as medicine, law, business, or STEM, where undergraduate GPA plays a meaningful role in admissions. Attending a “likely” school, your student can earn strong grades, build close relationships with professors, and stand out, which can create long-term advantages.

At some highly selective universities, students who were at the very top of their high school classes suddenly find themselves in the middle of a very competitive curve. Some thrive in that environment, while others quietly struggle with confidence. Being in a position to earn strong grades, build relationships with professors, conduct research, and secure leadership roles can matter more than the institution's name.

This idea isn’t new. In his book David and Goliath, Malcolm Gladwell discusses research suggesting that students often benefit from attending a college where they are among the stronger students in the class. When students feel capable and competitive, they are more likely to raise their hands, pursue ambitious opportunities, and persist in challenging majors.

Many outstanding colleges admit over half of their applicants. Institutions such as the University of Utah, the University of Oregon, Elon University, and the University of Denver all have strong academics, vibrant campus communities, and meaningful alumni networks. Many offer generous merit scholarships to attract high-achieving students. Smaller private colleges in the 50% admission range often boast excellent student-to-professor ratios, creating access and mentorship that can be harder to find at larger or more highly selective universities. The goal is not to attend the most selective college that will admit you; the goal is to choose a college where you will thrive.

Avoiding Senioritis

High school seniors sometimes believe that because they have worked so hard throughout high school, they have earned the right to slack off in their senior year, especially in the last few months. By now, mid-year grades are on their way to colleges, and students may have already been accepted at their favorite school. Why not kick back and enjoy life? We refer to this syndrome as “senioritis.”

However, an offer of admission is conditional, and students are expected to maintain their academic performance throughout senior year. Every year, colleges around the country rescind admission offers, meaning a student’s acceptance is withdrawn after it has been granted, most often because final grades, behavior, or information reported on the application no longer meet the college’s expectations.

You are admitted to a college based on the information in your application. If there are any changes, you should notify the college. If you have dropped a class that was listed on the transcript you submitted to colleges, your application has changed. Colleges receive your final transcript during the summer, and you don’t want to find out in July that you no longer have a place in the freshman class.   

It is much better to be honest and explain why you dropped the class or why your grades have gone down. If the drop in academic performance is severe enough to jeopardize your acceptance, admissions officers can advise you on how to salvage your admission.

There’s another reason to keep working hard in school. It makes the transition to college-level work easier. That’s one of the advantages of taking AP, IB, or dual-enrollment courses if qualified, which require a high level of commitment throughout senior year in order to prepare for AP exams in May. The anti-slacker curriculum built into AP classes will help you adjust to college coursework more easily.

If you start procrastinating during senior year, it’s difficult to get back to good study habits when you arrive at college, where there will be distractions and no parents reminding you to finish your history paper before you go out for pizza with your friends.  

While you do need to keep your grades up, making sure you have some fun will help you avoid burnout. Summer is less than six months away, and you will have plenty of time to play before you go off to college. 

It’s not only lower grades that can torpedo an offer of admission. While spray painting the school gym might seem like a fun prank to you and your friends, a disciplinary issue can also mean the end of your college acceptances.

Students who keep senioritis under control will get their reward when they embark on the great adventure of college in just a few months.